Have you seen this mans bike?

Yesterday, it was reported that Lance Armstrong had his bike stolen from his Astana team truck in California. This is pretty tragic news for a bike rider. It is not as if they stole just any bike, they took his time trial bike. For anyone reading this that is not a bike rider (that would probably be everybody except for Ron S) you are probably thinking, "big deal, buy another bike". It is irrelevant that Lance probably has not had to buy a bike since he was in his late teens, he is such an awesome rider that manufactures line up to give him free bikes and gear. A riders bike is more than just a chunk of parts attached to two wheels, it is an extension of them and their personality. Here is a picture of Lances missing TT bike.

This bike is a one of a kind $10,000.00 plus racing machine. It has been custom fit in a wind tunnel so that it takes full advantage of not only Armstrong's racing style, posture, and build, it is just plain cool to look at. If this were to be compared to a race car, it would be a Formula 1. This bike has not only been designed to go fast, it has been color coordinated to make the greatest bike rider ever, look even more cool than he is already. If Lance were behind you in a time trial race,and you saw him coming at you on this bike, you would probably pull over, get off your bike, take a picture, and run to the nearest internet cafe to blog about the religious encounter that had just happened to you, all the while forgetting that you were supposed to be racing.

Don't believe me, look at this picture. Even in this still frame you can see that this bike was made for Lance. Lance is such a strong rider, that on this bike the laws of physics are defied. It has been proven that Lance is such a strong time trial rider, that when he is in full race mode his bike actually is standing still and the world rotates underneath him. (again refer to above photo). So please, for all of the thousands of people that follow this blog on a daily basis, please return this bike to it's rightful owner. You will probably not be prosecuted, the police will understand that just gazing on this bike may cause a normally law abiding person to have visions of grandeur of passing every other bike racer ever born, or yet to be conceived. Please understand that just like Excalibur, there is only one that has the ability to handle this tool, and in the wrong hands it is useless.

If I sound passionate about this, you will have to excuse me. Unless you have ever been in love with your bike, you will not know the loss that Lance must be feeling right now. When I was a kid my dad.. er... Santa, brought me my first love. A Schwinn Orange Krate, a bike that oozed cool. It was orange, with a big fat slick tire in the rear and a little tiny wheel up front. It had chrome handle bars, chrome front shocks, and piston shocks on the rear seat. The seat was an Orange and shiny silver banana seat with SS stripes highlighting the S that stood for Schwinn. It had a freewheel on the back, drum brakes up front and a rear clincher brake on the back. The coolest thing about this bike was the 5 speeds that could be shifted by the large selector shifter on the center crossbar, If you forgot hpw many gears there were you only had to look down the big black 5 on the shifter. It even came with orange tassels streaming from the handgrips, (I removed them immediately because they were slightly nerdy even in the 70's).

I was in love with this bike. I washed and dried it by hand, and made sure that it was kept out of the rain. If I ever went to 7-11 I would wait outside with it while my friends went inside. When I finally outgrew my bike I still held onto it. It was kept on the side of the house, and even though I could no longer get parts for it and knew I would never ride it again, I would occasionally check on it. After I got married, I went on the side of Mom's house to check it out, it was gone... I frantically tried to find out what could have happened to it, nobody knew where it was. Just when I thought that the bike was gone for good, Mom asked me to check with Darren, I did, and he confessed that he had given it to the Gubler kid to make a lowrider bike out of it. I went into full blown panic mode, I had visions of the Gubler kid chopping up my bike and riding it around with his big elephant like ears (Sorry gube, you know they were huge). I also felt betrayed, Darren had given away my bike (I still think this would have disqualified him from Metro, if they had ever found out.) I made Darren go get my bike, and to this day I still have it. I have looked up companies on the internet, made calls to a local guy that restores old Krate bikes, but know that there is no way that I can justify spending the $1,500.00 that it would cost to restore it. Even if I did restore it, I wouldn't want to ride it for fear that it was not as magnificent as I remembered it., and how stupid would I look doing it.

I have thoughts that maybe some day I will find a guy that has a love for this particular type of bike, and the knowledge to properly restore it. If I ever find that guy, and after a very thorough background check to make sure that it will not be sold to anybody, ever, I might think of adopting it out. In the meantime, it is still in my possession. Since then I have had other bikes, and I have loved them all. There was the red Scrambler, the chrome Redline that I cracked in Cedar City, the white metal 10 speed that I used to ride out to Boulder City and back on Sunday mornings. I had a Raleigh 15 speed that I rode from Salt Lake to Vegas, a black Nishiki that probably could have been ridden more. My only Mountain bike is a Rocky Mountain, that needs new pedals and a rear tire. I have a blue Trek that I rode my first Century on and have ridden several times in the Rosarito to Ensanada ride, as well as the Tour De Tucson. My blue Trek is one that I loan out to people that are thinking about riding. One day I just showed up at my friend Darius' house and told him I would come by to pick him up the next day. He now has his own bike, and since then has loaned my Trek to his brother, (rode it once, hated it.) and is now with an insurance agent. At home I have 2 Carbon fiber Fondriest bikes that I bought from a friend. My Luxtor is the one that I love to ride, although the F1 is a more expensive and has better components. I know everything about the bikes that I have owned. I can show scars from screws, handlebars, spokes and pedals. If I ever had to go to a bike morgue to identify one, I would be able to, I have this weird memory that I can recall irrelevant thing, and would remember the scratches, dings, layers of paint etc... of each one of my old bikes.

So please, If you are the one that has Lances bike and are reading my blog, (you never know, please refer to the chil's comments) please give it back to Mr Armstrong, so that he can get some much needed sleep, and use it to kick some French butt this year in the Tour De France.