Today as i drove around from bottom of pool to bottom of pool I noticed some very interesting things. Las Vegas has got to be the cradle of civilization for people watching, and if you are not looking around while driving, you are missing out.
This morning in Green Valley I noticed a guy picking his nose. No big deal, right? No, I have never seen anybody pick their nose like this guy. He was using the "reverse thumb hook dig method", and was very proficient at it.
At first glance I thought, "hey that guy is picking his nose". after about two minutes of picking, this guy was still going at it. He was twisting the thumb all the way up to the knuckle, all the while scooping and scratching away at the inside of the nostril closest to the window. This guy was not just casually loosening or removing, he was full blown mining. I thought maybe I shouldn't be watching, but how could you not. It was like one of those fishing shows that you see on t.v. where you watch to see how big of a fish they land. I thought, what if he sees me watching, and then I realized that he was probably a nose picking exhibitionist. If he were not, he probably would have used the opposite hand pinky scratch, or at least got tinted windows. About the time that I was going to find out if he had something on the line, or was at least going to make a lunch out of it, the light turned green and the results of his digging expedition are now left to my imagination.
Later in the day I was pulling out from one of the Hotels and saw a group of Russian looking people in Cirque outfits. Imagine people in skin tight spandex from head to toe, wearing white inline roller blades, carrying huge banners on long poles (much more pleasant to look at than Mr. nose picker). I assume that they were promoting one of the 300 Cirque shows that are now on the strip. It really is a sign of the times when you see some of the shameless promotions that are going on just to fill seats in the downtown shows.
Finally on the way home I observed a rather large lady in tight red spandex stretch shorts, that were being consumed by her butt crack. As I sat waiting for my turn to pull out onto the street, I had to wonder how much fabric was actually missing. Were her shorts possibly long pants when they started out in the morning, furthermore, would they end up as a thong by the time she reached her final destination.
Tomorrow as you are driving around you have two choices, notice what is happening outside of your car, or at least make sure that you are not doing anything that people might be watching you doing.
You write too well! I'm having visual attacks that will probably give me nightmares later on. Spandex should be outlawed! I love watching people, but it does make me think that I'm probably "being watched." Yesterday I saw a extremely large man sitting behind his steering wheel doing some sort of dance. His arms were up, his index fingers on both hands were pointing up to the ceiling of the car and he was rocking! Then what to my wondering eyes did I see, the big man rolled his arms in some sort of disco move. With his mini-van rocking with all his motions, my only hope was that there was a little kid in the back seat being entertained by this man, his daddy. I'll never know--the light changed and I was on my way.
ReplyDeleteYou're a better man than me. I look away as soon as I see nose picking activity, afraid to see what I've seen too often - out of adults - you know what I'm gonna say, don't you? I won't say it. As for spandex, yuck. Keep your eyes on the road, K.......
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