The Coolest thing EVER!!!!!

The past week or so I have been doing some work at a couple of the Casinos. If any of you (both of you that read this) have never been in the workers walkways underneath the Casino you are missing out. There is a whole subculture going on down below that most people are not even aware of. There are different departments and people doing their jobs, some travel alone, others go from job to job in groups. Everyone is dressed in their particular uniform so it is easy to spot them. I was not in the hallway long enough to know if everyone gets along, or if their are some groups that don't get along with others. I was impressed with how many doors, rooms, elevators one has to memorize to even be able to get from one side of the casino to the other. Just as an example, In order to get to one of the Penthouse suites, we went down a set of stairs, up an elevator, through a side door through a hallway, out of another door into a different lobby, up another elevator, through another hallway, down a set of stairs...... Anyway, when we finally got to the Penthouse I entered a world that few people ever get to see. Talk about luxury, Every suite has it's own staff, kitchen, security, bar, Jaccuzi, Grand Pianos, Theater, Steinway Piano etc.. Those were all cool things, but there were things that only the super rich get to have. I was shown the leather flooring in the pool table room, the super high tech massage chairs, and even the Golf Simulator room. I guess the idea behind the golf simulator is that you can program any golf course in the program, stand in front of a screen showing that hole and play a full round. As a person that really doesn't even like golf even I was impressed. The only thing I didn't understand was how far into the simulation does one have to go to get the whole simulated golf experience? Once you hit the ball do you think it would be appropriate to walk in place until you reach the area that your ball would have gone to. Should there not also be a golf cart rigged up to a motion sensor that you can pretend to drive to the ball. If I were playing they would have to pipe in surround sound, complete with sounds of broken glass, swearing old ladies that got hit by my slice, and virtual paramedics to revive me from the heat stroke that usually accompanies golfing during the discount times during the hottest part of the Las Vegas summer.

This was cool, but it was not the coolest thing ever. The coolest thing ever was in the bathroom. A high tech toilet!!! This toilet was not only super sleek and sexy, it does things that could only be dreamed up by a man, but appreciated by a woman. A toilet that unifies the sexes. Most toilets are purely functional, but this one. Raises the lid automatically, self flushes, self cleans and sanitizes, but its best feature is that it vents during use. When you use this thing, regardless of what you ate the day before, you will never smell a thing. When you are done it puts the lid back down and no more arguments. The only thing that I think could have made this even more cool would be a little mop at the bottom that would come out and clean around the base, for the tinkle trail that is sometimes accidentally left behind. I was told that the cost of this bad boy (or girl) is $10,000.00. A small investment for eternal happiness, and an end to arguments over messes, smells, and accidental but plunges when the seat is left up in the dark of the night.